I rushed my body faster and faster down the tunnel, faster than I thought my body was capable of previously. Typically, the upper systems of Cos-Mech NavGate_v9 are littered with scientists and combat engineers. But with the whole system down and missing a pilot, big dogs gave the science team the day off, rest of them are in the bottom systems making their way to the medbay, same as me. I make my way through the hallways and ladders leading to the depths of this mechanical titan, just days ago everything was new and polished, now I’m ducking stray live wires and torn sheets of steel. I worked these upper systems as a combat engineer primarily focused on offensive measures, there's nothing like running down the glistening metal arm of a CosMech to unclog the wrist cannon while amidst a grueling brawl between two of them. But this rush is nothing like that, sure it's out of fear, but it grants me no adrenaline in return, only more fear looming in the wake of my shadow. 

I can hear murmurs from people rising from a pit in the walkway. Looking down it seems like due to the damages, the pipework for the upper system’s coolant might give me a straight shot to bottom system’s panel room. I jump down the pit and activate my boots, latching onto and grinding down the pipes. Clara gave me these for my birthday, they’re top of the line with all the bells and whistles, she’s my best friend. It sucked when she had to be relocated for pilot training, but we were able to convince the big dogs to pair us up on the same machine once she was done. I spent my time practicing to be the best that I could be, messing around with the boots, the growth and shrink tech I implemented into my gloves, and utility belts, you know the usual things. You could just about count on it that I would fall asleep with my face in a CosMech manual every night, and now I know these machines like the back of my hand. She killed it in pilot training, I mean she wouldn’t have been given a NavGate_v9 if she hadn’t, all these losers out here with NavGate_v7s and Starlight_v3s, Clara is a badass. Nothing we couldn’t handle when we were together.

…

No, nothing we “can” handle when we “are” together.

…

Shit… I’m getting sentimental.

I reach the panel room and stick the landing. “K-kaylee? That you, kid?” Arlin says, one of the bottom system mechanics. I can hear the sounds of the frantic team outside, looks like he came in here to get away from all the noise.

“Arlin, where is she? How she doing?” I ask him.

“No clue, we ain’t heard nothing yet. Certainly still in the medbay though bu-”

I don’t let him finish, I can’t let him finish. I bust out of the door and into the hallways swarmed with frantic mechanics and engineers, trying to keep us together. I follow the blueprints in my head and push through the crowd to the medbay. The large double doors are locked up tight, but sitting outside isn’t good enough, not right now. I pull the 4 inch pipe wrench from my pocket, swing back, click the button on my gloves, and swing as the wrench goes from 4 inches to 3 feet in length and I bash the door in. I run into the room and swing the doors close, except they don’t because something indented them and broke the lock, oh well.

Nurse Angelo spins his head in both shock and frustration upon seeing me. “What the fuck was that for???” he complains.

“I will fix it,” I snap at him “now how is it goi-”

I stop in complete silence, my stomach drops to the floor. Upon the surgery table is Clara, but not entirely. Her legs and left arm completely detached from her body, not surgically removed, they look like they were torn off by brute force. Blood and chunks of flesh cover the table. Her right arm is snapped in 3 separate places and she's missing a thumb. Her left cheek is ripped open and her head almost totally gone if it were not for the spine and a few blood vessels sticking up out of what's left of the neck. Mutilated. There’s no better word for it, she is mutilated. 

I scream in my head but my voice does not follow, my body stays frozen still.

Angelo grabs my shoulder and ushers me out. “Please Kaylee, step outside and let us work.”He never liked me but for the first time I heard sympathy in his voice.

I resist his nudging and force myself to speak. “What can you do?? You can put her back together??”

“I think that is sadly out of the question, but maybe we can preserve her head and torso.”

“Her head and torso?? That's it?? How is she gonna pilot again??”

“I believe Clara returning to the line of duty is out of the question..”

“What?!?! No no no no no, she needs to come back, nobody can run this thing like Clara.”

Angelo looks at me, now sorrowfully, “Kaylee I am terribly sorry, but there’s no way we can bring her back to a working condition.”

My initial shock of the situation diminishes. Now I’m pissed, I’m really really pissed. “I am not taking no for an answer Angie!” Tears come and intercept my rage, but I hold firm and continue lashing into him. “You will be pressed like hell to find anyone else on good terms with the bosses that is anywhere near as talented, clever, and dedicated as she is!”

“Dedicated, you say?”

My attention pivots to the voice echoing from the corner of the medbay. “Oh Dr. H,” Sometimes I forget Helminiak is here even when he is in charge of health and safety on the Cos-Mech. Apparently most people feel the same way, Arlin is convinced that it’s our fight or flight senses kicking in, can’t say I don’t at least get it. But nonetheless I turn to him, his opinion outways Angie’s in here. “... yes that is what I said.”

His tall, frigid frame steps out of the dark and into sight of the emergency lamp lights, now towering over me. “You should lead with those details, Ms. Nash.”

His response is puzzling, to say the least. “Why?”

“Because, bits of info such as that can potentially change our ideas of predetermined outcomes. Dedication is one of those that could change your friend's inevitable demise into a glimpse of hope.”

“Erm, sir,” Angelo barges back in, “as nice as it would be, I do not believe Clara’s dedication will assist us with reconstructing her body on a subcellular level-”

I shove Angelo to get him to shut up, “Whatever you can do to save her body, do it. Please.”
Dr. Helminiak stops me abruptly, “You may misunderstand me Ms. Nash. The damage done has left her body unrecoverable. I am one of the greatest minds to grace the medical field, not a patron saint capable of performing miracles.”

“What? Then why get my hopes up you piece of shit?!” I said, gagged by his handling of the current situation.

“I am not attempting to deceive you.” he assures me, “There may be a way for her to pilot again. But I need to know Ms. Nash-” he leans in closer to meet my gaze, “how dedicated is she to this job?”

I pondered on that question for a minute. I racked my brain for memories of me and Clara back when we were applying for training academies. Specifically, I recalled our talk about making our final decision:

We were back at my parents house, we had taken their dining room hostage that summer and turned it into a facility that rivaled the CIA. 

“Okay so let me get this straight,” I pronounced, “we get letters back from North Coast Industries’ academy that not only tell us that we have both been accepted into their program which, may I remind you, is ranked 4th on the continent. But they also came with scholarships that wave over 50% of our costs, hell yours is closer to 75%! And your reaction to that information is: ‘Nah I’m good.’?!?!”

Clara, studiously listening to me tear her a new one (as per usual), tilted her head in confusion, “I thought I said something like ‘The offer is very generous of them, but I believe we should decline.’”

“Tomato Tomahto girl!!!” I shouted, barely holding on to my last piece of sanity.

“Look,” Clara tried to reason with me, “I just think we already have a really good opportunity lined up here with Steadfast Steelworks.”

“In what world does the 4th best academy on the continent not stack up to the 27th best academy in the country?” 

“I can admit their academy definitely leaves more to be desired, but you’re thinking too small.” Clara stood up and moved towards her digi-board holding all the research she had been doing those past few months. “While the difference in academies is staggering, North Coast and Steadfast as companies have access to a similar amount of resources, and there aren’t as many people looking at Steadfast, meaning more to go towards us!”

The pieces clicked in my head finally, I sighed. “Clara, I know why you want to go Steadfast. But I also can’t just let you say ‘nobody is looking at them’ as if it's not for good reason.”

About a year or so prior to this, news broke across the world of heinous misconduct that had been acted out amongst some of the highest ranking officials at Steadfast Steelworks. Piles of assault allegations and dozens of testimonies to the mistreatment of employees erupted from the breaking news.

Clara, as if offended by my statement of the facts, responded, “It's a bunch of filthy rich dudes, of course I know it's bad, but let's not act like every filthy rich person ever probably isn’t like that too, North Coast probably just has a good PR team. Besides, we've seen that Steadfast can do good. When my mom, who used to work for them, was struggling financially they covered her rent and bills until I was able to start working!”

She then stopped and contemplated something. Anytime Clara got lost in thought she would start running her fingers through her platinum blonde hair with her iconic waved chin bob cut she’s kept styled the exact same way since she was a kid. “The reality is that we’re probably going to end up working for some not-so-great people no matter where we go, but Steadfast Steelworks did so much for my mom, I feel like this is my way of showing them my gratitude.”

Most people at this point would just end up going their separate ways, given how much money I would be saving with North Coast Industries. But no amount of money could stop me and Clara’s dream, our dream to run our own Cos-Mech together.

I put my hand on her shoulder, “If working for Steadfast Steelworks is really that important to you, then I’m with you.”

Clara smiled and gave me a hug. “Thanks, Kaylee.”

“Yeah it’s fine, you did have a good point about the rich people though. Hell if I was that rich I would just have a strip club installed in my office.”

“Ewww you're so weird for that..” Clara said, chuckling. We went ahead and accepted the offer to train and work for Steadfast. It’s unbelievable how much has happened since then.

I come back to my senses, staring at Clara’s head on the table. It’s hard to tell if the light behind her eyes is even there anymore.

“Very.” I muttered to Dr. Helminiak.

He nods. “Nurse, please excuse yourself from the room for the time being.”

Angelo was confused and worried for his patient, but he left almost immediately, as if understanding what would be a riskier course of action.

“Now then let's get started.” Helminiak announces as he pulls a cart into the light with a grand array of tools upon it. 

“How can you save her?” I asked.

“It’s an idea I have had for many, many years.” Helminiak says, preparing some of his tools, “One that not only could save your friend, but mark another step in evolution for humans and technology alike.”

“So like mechanical limbs?”

“Not quite,” he explains, “...while it is typically an option it's like I said before, this body is far too damaged to fix. I once wanted to be a Cos-Mech pilot, it sounded thrilling. But once I looked into it further I changed my mind. There was something about the way they have to control these machines that made me uneasy. Input delay was my biggest concern, with so many parts to hook up and wires to attach I hardly believed that the system could run fluidly. After looking even further I discovered an alternative option for control, the one pilots use as a backup in case of emergencies.”

“You mean the AI program?”

“Precisely, an automated system takes over control of the Cos-Mech. It's used primarily as a way for the machine to stabilize or defend itself. One thing I have always noticed is that the program’s control over the Cos-Mech was always more fluid than the control of a pilot. It had less strings attached, it had a more direct connection to the system, it was… efficient. The world was changed when we learned to fuse technology with the workings of the human body, we can make prosthetics, mechanical organs, it’s revolutionary in ways never dreamed possible. So what if we take it a step further? What if… we could turn the brain into a program?”

I finally realize what he is suggesting and get between him and the table, “Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, wait!  Your ‘solution’ is to turn Clara into our CosMech?! Are you insane?”

“The best scientists are.” Helminiak says jokingly, maybe, “What is your issue with this? It was you that couldn’t stop rambling on about how dedicated she is to this job.” he accuses.

“This isn’t what I thought you meant!” I protest, “Why would you even assume that?”

Dr. Helminiak leans in close. “Kaylee. Point is that your friend here is fading fast. Yes this is a risky thing to try so let me give you the ultimatum. We either let her die right here and right now, or we give her a 48% chance at life. There are no alternatives, no other options, and no other methods. Seeing as you were so close, the right thing to do is put this decision in your hands, trusting you know what is best for her. So Ms. Nash, what should I do?”

I thought about it. Everything we did, all of the work we put in. Would she be content with knowing this was the end of the road for her?

…

I think… she could. But I know that I couldn’t.

“I want you to do your damn job, doc.” I told Helminiak

He replied, “Understood.”

I walked out of the medbay to allow him the space he needed to work. As I left, Angelo was waiting outside. It looked like he wanted to say something to me but couldn’t actualize it. He scurried back into the room to assist Dr. Helminiak. 

The next several days felt intangible to everything else. I was so anxious and fearful about what I did that it left me numb. What if I made the wrong call? Should we have put Clara out of her misery? If something goes wrong maybe she could lose her memory, she would be a husk of herself and unable to pilot. Even worse, she remembers, and she hates me for it. I got frequent updates from Angelo but never substantial details, as if they knew this decision was eating me from the inside out. Eventually, Dr. Helminiak emerged from the medbay and rose to the upper system to meet with me, he was finished. 

He handed me a large cartridge-like device, recommending that I handled it with the utmost care. Helminiak then explained to take it to the intel center behind the main control deck of the Cos-Mech. Within the computers I would find a similar device, I needed to remove it and lock this new one into its place. I questioned why he couldn’t do it, he paused for a moment, and told me it was only logical before departing down into the depths of the Cos-Mech.

I lifted the device above my head and marched to the cranium of the steel titan, where the intel center was located. Everything I feel still feels numb, but I know I felt like ‘something’ halfway up. I just couldn’t tell if I felt like a god-sent messenger, or a pallbearer. I made it to the intel center and located the device, I pulled it out of its socket and gently, yet firmly, pressed in the new one in its place. 

The room stood silent and I stood with it in solidarity. Out of nowhere I catch a glimpse of something, a glowing pulse of energy shot by on one of the wall’s panels. Soon after, I saw another go by on the opposite wall, then another, and another, and another. Quickly these individual pulses multiply by the hundreds, all dashing through the system and culminating in the panel on the back wall. The swarm of energy bellowed with an eerie static throughout the Cos-Mech, and slowly dimmed until a shape slowly began to reveal itself. A feminine torso with numeral codes dispersing from where the limbs should be. Then a head appeared, a round facial shape with code mimicking hair in a waved chin bob cut. Two pulses shot into the head and stopped still side by side one another, shaping in a way that imitated irises that immediately locked onto me.

I speak, “Hey Clara.”